How Your Job Can Save Your Sex Life

When it comes 

to work, you dress well, hold your emotions in check, and (usually) show up on time. But most of us don’t apply those same standards to our romantic relationships. And that’s a problem, shows research from the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign.

That said, there’s a fine line when it comes to treating your wife or girlfriend like you treat your boss and coworkers. Extending certain work practices to your private life, though, can significantly lower the amount of emotional strain and conflict you and your partner experience. It could even score you more sex.  Here, five ways to get there.

Be on time. You wouldn’t show up 15 minutes late to a meeting. And it’s not cool to be tardy—or worse, absent—when it comes to weekday dinners at home. Being reliable and punctual shows your partner you respect her, says study coauthor Jill Bowers, Ph.D. And such shows of respect increase the chances your relationship will last by as much as 65 percent, finds a study from the University of California, Davis.

Carve out time just for her. You know it’s important to schedule “face time” with an important client. And it’s just as important to give your girl quality one-on-one time, Bowers’ research suggests. Take a tip from long-distance couples and set aside at least 15 minutes a day to talk with her about meaningful subjects—your families or goals for the coming months. Doing that will increase feelings of commitment and satisfaction by as much as 8 percent, finds a study from Cornell University. 

Keep stress in check. You sure as hell wouldn’t discuss your personal problems during team conference calls, would you? Try to project a similar attitude at home. If work stress makes it hard for you to walk in the door at home with a smile on your face, hit the gym before you head home—studies show about 30 minutes of exercise can banish your angst. Hanging out with a hound also helps lower your stress.  

Control your temper. When you butt heads with that jerk from accounting, you probably don’t shout, slam doors, or toss out sarcastic remarks, Bowers observes. Unfortunately, those behaviors—especially the use of sarcasm while arguing—are among the most commonly used and potent relationships killers, finds research from the University of Washington. The next time you’re pissed at her, force yourself to use inclusive language like “we” and “our,” and avoid “I” or “my.” This linguistic trick reduces negativity, and couples who argue this way report being happier and staying together longer, shows research from the University of California, Berkeley.

Look presentable. No one expects you to wear a suit and tie at home. But think about how you feel when your girl puts on makeup and high heels to go out with her friends, but rocks the no-makeup-and-sweats look whenever the two of you hang out. Combing your hair and dressing up shows your partner you care about her enough to make an effort, Bowers explains. She’ll also be more willing to hop in the sack with you: Proper grooming accounts for nearly two-thirds of your attractiveness in a woman’s eyes, shows research from UCLA.